Well I am still on the pursuit of getting healthy, fit, and fabulous. I have found myself being willing to put towards the effort for about 2ish months and then something happens (school, work, bag of Dorito's magically appears in my house) and I then get off the track.
I woke up this past Saturday and went to put on a pair of pants that 'fit'. I had just washed them so I knew that there was a chance that they were going to be a little bit tight. When I pulled them up and could barely button them I knew that something needed to change. I found myself getting emotional, even teared up a bit, about how I let myself get to this place. I have never been super fit but I have never been super heavy either. I somehow have been able to sneak past gaining tons of weight each year and instead just staying at a constant weight (which is a weight that I am not happy with). I always start a program of healthy eating, working out, and trying to make my self-esteem grow. And then....I JUST STOP!
I am realizing that I can make all these changes that I have stated above, but until I am willing to really look inside and start the change in me I will never be able to succeed changing the outer me. I like to believe that I am a independent, self-sufficient, strong, young women....but even with all those positive attributes I still find myself consumed with thoughts of ugly, lonely, and dissatisfaction.
I really want this change. I really want to break through this invisible barrier that always catches me and I give in to it. I want to be able to eat what I want and not feel guilty; but still feel successful. I made a decision this weekend and decided that I need help and that to start I wanted to be involved with something that would keep me motivated and accountable. So.....I joined Weight Watchers. I never thought I would join something like this, but they make it so easy to follow, so many choices, and I am also paying for it so I know I will use it. I am nervous/excited to see how this new journey goes. Hopefully spending $$$$ will really keep me motivated. Cross your fingers for me.
Here's to being motivated, getting side-swiped by a bag of Dorito's, and starting the watching weight journey.
-s.
I feel ya, girl. It's so easy to get sidetracked and lose focus of the end goal!! It's really admirable that you're taking it into your own hands and making a change! I'm trying to be more healthy too, so we can always chat about what's going on. Love ya!!!
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