wise words from young ones.

Today, while I was working with a kiddo for GEAR UP instead of working on homework we started to discuss the concept of self-esteem.  She told me how some girls were being mean to her and that she did not understand why.  She then told me, "I am proud of who I am.  There is nothing wrong with me".

Seriously?!?! Seriously?!? SERIOUSLY?!?  This young girl (who is half my age) just said something that millions of people fight to believe each day.  

I fight to believe this each day.  

I am not sure that this girl knew the power her words held.  How important it is to believe those words and hold on to their meaning as she travels her life.

 I had no response for her after she said those words.  I just gave her a hug and smiled.  My heart was full at that moment....she helped me remember the beauty that we all hold inside...sometimes we just forget it's there.

Here's mean girls, being proud of who you are, and learning from young ones.

-s.

Making the positive change...again.

Well I am still on the pursuit of getting healthy, fit, and fabulous.  I have found myself being willing to put towards the effort for about 2ish months and then something happens (school, work, bag of Dorito's magically appears in my house) and I then get off the track. 

I woke up this past Saturday and went to put on a pair of pants that 'fit'.  I had just washed them so I knew that there was a chance that they were going to be a little bit tight.  When I pulled them up and could barely button them I knew that something needed to change.  I found myself getting emotional, even teared up a bit, about how I let myself get to this place.  I have never been super fit but I have never been super heavy either.  I somehow have been able to sneak past gaining tons of weight each year and instead just staying at a constant weight (which is a weight that I am not happy with).  I always start a program of healthy eating, working out, and trying to make my self-esteem grow. And then....I JUST STOP!

I am realizing that I can make all these changes that I have stated above, but until I am willing to really look inside and start the change in me I will never be able to succeed changing the outer me.  I like to believe that I am a independent, self-sufficient, strong, young women....but even with all those positive attributes I still find myself consumed with thoughts of ugly, lonely, and dissatisfaction. 

I really want this change.  I really want to break through this invisible barrier that always catches me and I give in to it.  I want to be able to eat what I want and not feel guilty; but still feel successful.  I made a decision this weekend and decided that I need help and that to start I wanted to be involved with something that would keep me motivated and accountable.  So.....I joined Weight Watchers.  I never thought I would join something like this, but they make it so easy to follow, so many choices, and I am also paying for it so I know I will use it.  I am nervous/excited to see how this new journey goes.  Hopefully spending $$$$ will really keep me motivated.  Cross your fingers for me.

Here's to being motivated, getting side-swiped by a bag of Dorito's, and starting the watching weight journey.

-s.

4 months.

Today is January 11th.  I graduate with my Master's on May 11th.  That means only 4 more months of reading, studying, assignments, and all other school related stuff....I am SO excited to almost be done.  I start my final semester on January 14th.  Bring it on!

Here's too 120 days left, being excited and nervous, and trying to remember to enjoy these final moments.

-s.

bye-bye 20-12...hello 20-13.

2012. When thinking about what has happened over the past year I find it hard to pinpoint any major events, tragedies, or accomplishments I have encountered.  For me, 2012 was a very mellow year.  And what I mean by mellow is my usual "burning the candle from both ends in order to get everything done" mellow type of year.  However, even though I say it has been mellow I feel like I have achieved a few accomplishments that are worthy of notice.  These include:

• finishing 3 more semester of grad school (I have now finished 5).
• Starting my internship and counseling "real people" 
• Loosing 15lbs (this isn't entirely true anymore =[....darn life, stress, laziness getting in the way).
• Feeling more secure with my independence.
• Becoming more mindful and understanding with my needs....basically learning to put "me" first.

 These are not the most exciting things to report...however I believe that we need to relish in the little things so we can continue to grow.

Now it is January 1, 2013.  Time for fresh starts, setting goals, and simply approaching new situation bright eyed and bushy tailed.  The typical thing to do is to set resolutions that we want to achieve over the next year.  Many of these resolutions will go unmet and may weigh heavy on our minds as promises we were either unable or unwilling to keep.  I have fallen into this trap for the past few years.  I make lists of things I want to improve or change.  I stay strong for about 2 months and then I find other things that take precedence or I catch a cold, or I get a splinter in my pinkie and because of that I am unable to walk or function.  I want to achieve the goals I set for myself and I wish I could find the drive that others have that keep them moving in the right direction. 

 So instead of setting written resolutions this year I decided to do something a little bit different.  I decided to put together a vision board.  These boards were very popular a few years back when the book "The Secret" came out.  The whole idea is by putting dreams, hopes, and ambitions on the board and put it where I see if everyday I will be more likely to achieve each item.  What I have on my vision board includes:

• Getting a 4.0 my final semester of grad school (so far I have maintained a 4.0 the past 5 semesters so that should be a breeze to achieve).
• Finding my dream job in either Utah or Colorado. 
• loosing 20lbs----or a better way to put it is "becoming fit and healthy"
• Getting back into the world of dating (this one is going to be hardest)
• Yoga everyday
• Staying mindful in all decisions and activities I do.
• Simply being happy.

I am planning on putting this board above my bed so that I see it when I fall asleep and when I wake up.  This will hopefully keep me motivated and working at achieving each item. I started strong with these goals already...meaning I finished my board, worked out for 45 minutes, and starting making flashcards for my National Counselor Examination that is happening in April.  Now lets just hope I am this driven in 2 months from today.

Here's to a mellow/busy 2012, a positive outlook for 2013, and keeping my visions in the front of my mind.

-s.